


"And you have this like, king-of-the-world jock thing."

by AeonWing



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon Compliant, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, M rating just to be safe, M/M, Pining, Sexual Humor, Slow Burn, chalex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonWing/pseuds/AeonWing
Summary: Charlie loves his Titanic references. He would also love to be the Jack to Alex's Rose, but Alex seems to have other ideas.Fortunately, Charlie doesn't give up that easily.Based on S4E7, the library, college interview, and pier scenes - rewritten with a few personal additions for humour/clarity/angst when applicable.Currently put on hiatus - this is intended to be a part 3 to an ongoing series, when part 2 has not been written yet, therefore until part 2 is finished this will be put on hiatus
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Comments: 22
Kudos: 110





	1. The Library

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to Canadian_31 for suggesting this idea to me.
> 
> And thank you to QueenC for helping me with this work!
> 
> I'll admit, at first I didn't really notice the Titanic references, but damn! Charlie's got game and good taste (in both movies and in men, hehe).

_“Damn, I really wanna kiss you.”_

\-- Unknown

* * *

###  **April 8th 2019**

Charlie never really gave much thought about his love life, or his sexual orientation, for that matter. He knows he’s never been fully straight – he likes boys, he finds them attractive. That’s something he’s well aware of. But it’s never been a big, big problem for him. Maybe it’s an advantage – being able to pass as straight, not being visibly gay, but it’s not who he is. Over the years, he’s heard all sorts of awful things being said, especially among boys in the locker room. People say shit like “faggot” all the time, make all sorts of crass gay jokes. Especially back when Monty was still there. It made Charlie uncomfortable, but he felt like it was just the culture of boys’ sports.

It’s not something to be proud of, really – in that regard, he knows that Jessica has a point in wanting to dismantle the culture in boys’ sports. Charlie’s seen it himself, with his own two eyes, heard with his own ears just the kind of awful things guys can say.

So apart from the fact that Monty was a rapist who did terrible things, Charlie had another ulterior motive for being grateful over Monty being gone – the homophobia mostly went away. Keyword being _mostly_ , but he’s sort of glad the rest of his teammates aren’t too homophobic, even if they poke fun at him from time to time for being “different”. Especially Diego. He even told Jess during the Valentine’s Dance that Charlie was “gay, or bi, or something,” which Charlie _never_ confirmed to them.

He’s been content with passing as straight – he dated a girl named Betty for some time, but after taking her to homecoming, she ended things shortly after. She said something along the lines of how watching the boys fight on the football field made her uncomfortable and all that. Charlie understood and didn’t say anything when she broke things off. But things are different now. Alex waltzed into his life like a fever dream. And at first, Charlie wasn’t romantically interested in him. He knew who Alex was – of course, who didn’t? He’s a little ashamed to admit the first thing he learned about Alex was that he “shot himself in the head and missed” from Monty. That was such a crass, shitty thing to even say about a boy he knew so little about. But it’s only in these past few months that he’s really begun to _know_ Alex.

At first, they just talked casually, as Charlie became part of the main group. But things changed over time, and Charlie isn’t sure when his feelings for Alex became romantic. Was it when they bonded at the senior camp trip, while Alex was still reeling over ending things with Winston? When they got high together at the ‘Find your Drink’ party, watching old movies by themselves? It all seems to be a blur now, culminating in that kiss they shared after the lockdown at school. Charlie knew about Alex’s TBI. He had done research specifically for that reason – to be there for Alex, to hold him tight, comfort him through everything. Charlie was relieved when he was able to calm Alex down during that lockdown. Not just because it won him a kiss from the boy he had developed feelings for, but because really – he was truly relieved Alex was okay, and that he was able to help someone in need.

There’s still a lot about Alex he doesn’t know. Maybe the attraction is still superficial, to some extent – but it’s there. Charlie can’t deny this to himself any longer – he likes Alex a lot. He knows that despite everything that Alex has gone through, his traumas, his difficulties, that Alex is _beautiful_. And it’s not just soft brown locks, or his deep blue eyes, incredibly pretty smile – it’s his perseverance and integrity through trauma and conflict.

Needless to say – Charlie was a little hopeful that after that kiss during the drill, the two of them could work something out, to put a label on things. Charlie’s a little old-fashioned in that regard. So, when he sees Alex sitting alone in the library the following day, he takes his chance.

“Hey,” Charlie murmurs, snuggling Alex tightly, arms wound around Alex’s smaller frame.

“What the f-” Alex jolts, startled by the sudden touch. “Who does that?” He says, raising a hand in protest as Charlie moves away.

“Guys do it, it’s a thing,” Charlie answers, confident and smiling. Alex doesn’t look too convinced, but Charlie takes advantage of the time and situation to take a seat beside him. “It’s… it’s, like, a _Titanic_ , king-of-the-world kind of thing. I’ve seen it done,” he continues, hands flexed for emphasis.

“Okay, well, I’m not Kate Winslet, and what is even happening here?” Alex says back, cold, and disheartened. Charlie’s a little surprised by this – and Alex raises his hands again to signify his confusion at Charlie’s apparently sudden intrusion.

That hurts a little.

“Like between us?” He asks, wincing when Alex shrugs again. “Uh – I guess, uh, I kind of felt like maybe we could be a thing, you know?” He admits, staring at his feet, trying to mask the disappointment in his voice, because _damn_ he knows he’s doing a bad job at that.

Alex’s face darkens, and Charlie has to admit it hurts because Alex clearly doesn’t see it the same way. In fact, Alex actually looks irritated about this. “No? Uh… I-I don’t know,” Charlie stammers. “Cause you’re, like, the first actual guy I’ve kissed who’s, like, kissed me back-” he starts, biting his tongue when Alex shoots him yet another confused glare. At this point, Charlie’s unsure if he should just stop talking.

“And um… you’re a real, non-imaginary person-” he finishes, reluctant and a little dismayed.

“Ok-” Alex interrupts, urgent and intense. “Look- Tyler is in school. Like, nothing happened,” he says.

For a split second, Charlie wishes this conversation wouldn’t happen. Yes, it’s important to talk about Tyler. He knows that. But for selfish reasons, for better or worse, Charlie was hoping the conversation could stay on _them_ and not anything else. But he knows better than to speak up in protest here. Gritting his teeth, he relents.

“What?” He shuffles uneasily, mouth agape. “How? We-” and on instinct, turns around to see if any prying eyes and ears are listening in on their conversation. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t fucking know!” Alex says curtly. “Tony says we’re not supposed to tell anyone, and he’ll deal with it.”

“And he will,” Charlie says back, reassuring and stoic. He lets out a soft, disappointed sigh – at this point, Alex doesn’t seem interested in talking about them. It’s disheartening, hurtful even – but Charlie doesn’t give up that easily. “Hey,” he continues, resting a hand on Alex’s arm.

“Can we just-” Alex interjects, shrinking back when Charlie’s hand touches him. Charlie looks at him, incredulous and trying to suppress the shock and hurt that’s breaking through. “Look – I have history, I have my interview later, and-”

“Yeah,” Charlie whispers. “Okay,” he adds. There are a million things he wants to say, a million things he wishes to add, a million things he wants to do. But he can’t. Alex is pushing him away – and it stings. It really _fucking_ stings. He stares at Alex for a moment, words on the tip of his tongue. But nothing comes out.

“St. George!” A voice calls from behind.

Charlie instantly recognizes it as Luke’s.

“Got the math answers or what?” His teammate strolls in, grinning widely.

_Damn._

Charlie wants to say no – that he’s here with Alex, that they’re talking right now. He wishes he could be honest about that. But he can’t just lie – not after Alex clearly wants to be alone. Glancing at Alex, he opens his mouth, ready to answer that for Luke.

But Alex beats him to it.

“You should take care of that,” Alex says matter-of-factly.

_I don’t want to_. Charlie shuffles uneasily. He doesn’t say anything, and he’s far away enough from Luke and the rest of his teammates that they can’t possibly read his face, his body language, whatever might give away the fact that he wished Alex would’ve said something different. Something, _anything_ , to give him an excuse to stay. But Alex didn’t. It didn’t happen that way.

“Go,” says Alex, and Charlie isn’t sure if that’s Alex telling him to join his friends, or if it’s Alex telling him to _leave him alone_. 

Either way, it burns like acid. 

Charlie gets up, shaking his head in disbelief. For a split-second, there’s a part of him that wants to scream. To hold Alex tight, to kiss him, to just confess that he wants to be here, with him, instead of anywhere else in the world. But how could he? Shaking his head, silent and wordless, he walks away, bro-hugging his smiley, blonde-haired teammate as they begin to head out of the library.

He takes this last moment to turn back, closing his eyes in defeat when Alex isn’t even looking his way.

* * *

Charlie was wrong to think his teammates weren’t observant. While they might suck at school and academics, they’re not blind. He’s surprised to know just how many of his teammates knew of his infatuation with Alex. And clearly, people saw them kissing in the computer lab after the lockdown because somehow _everyone_ knows now.

“Dude, you really deserve someone better than that,” Luke chuckles, laughing when one of their teammates taps him on the shoulder in agreement. “And so, it's confirmed. You're like, actually gay, right? So what Diego and I thought at the party wasn't just a bad theory?" He prods, quirking an eyebrow which Charlie just sighs at. "What about Betty?" 

“Guys, come on, you don’t even know Alex,” Charlie mutters, but it doesn’t curb the ache in his chest from Alex’s rejection. “And – I’m bisexual. Not gay, okay? Just- Betty and I didn’t work out.”

“Was the sex good at least?” Luke chuckles, punching Charlie in the arm and Charlie just rolls his eyes. “Better than Standall?”  
  


"Luke, what the hell?" He says, scoffing. 

“Bro, seriously?” Diego chimes in, draping an arm over Charlie’s shoulder. “The Standall kid? I mean, he’s not bad looking, and I kinda guessed you two were a thing," he pauses, swallowing when Charlie shoots him the stink eye. "Err, I mean, that you liked him, but-”

“Damn, Diego, I didn’t know you were into dudes!” One other teammate says, followed by various hoots in the background.

  
“Real funny, guys!” He yells back but smiles, before facing Charlie again. “But seriously – come on, get yourself a girl-” He pauses. “Or _guy_ – that doesn’t just push you away.”

“Yeah!” The cheers continue, and Charlie rolls his eyes.

“Guys, look –” Charlie interrupts, hands raised defensively. “I just- I really like him, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys I was into dudes, I just…” He doesn’t finish, biting his lip and shaking his head.

“No, we get it,” Diego’s looking at him sympathetically. “But like – we kind of already guessed you were like gay… or bi or something,” he adds, gaze sweeping across the locker room. Charlie doesn’t know whether to be thrilled or upset when everyone nods in agreement.

“Yeah but – how often do you see a quarterback that’s into dudes,” Charlie mutters. “I didn’t want you guys suddenly looking at me differently,” he admits.

“Nah bro, you’re our guy,” Luke nods, tapping Charlie on the shoulder, wide-eyed and grinning. “Seriously, did you really think that would change anything?”

And for the first time, Charlie feels relieved about this. He doesn’t have to hide it anymore. He doesn’t have to lie about his sexuality anymore. Sure – he can pass for straight, perhaps. It’s kind of hard to with the football guys, whom he spends so much time with. It’s _especially_ hard (pun intended) during their showers post-game. They had teased him about it before, but Charlie’s really relieved that no one ever pressed it.

Guess they all already knew.

“Thanks, guys, I really appreciate having my boys supporting me,” he nods, a weak smile breaking on his face. “But really – I like Alex. A lot. And I don’t know if he really likes me back,” he admits, voice catching when he realizes how pathetic that must sound. He’s the fucking quarterback, for Christ’s sake, the star player on the football team. Girls would throw themselves at him left and right, and he’s crying over a skinny, sad boy who doesn’t want him?

But Alex is more than just a “skinny, sad kid” to him. Alex means so much more than words can explain.

Charlie glances around the room, the ache in his chest subsiding just a little when he sees supportive glances from most of the boys, save the few who are just minding their own business. Diego and Luke are at the front, bro-hugging him in support.

“Hey man – if you need anything, we’ll be here. Just ask us if you need any help with date ideas or shit to impress little Standall there,” says Luke.

“Or if you need a shoulder to cry on if he rejects you,” Diego adds, laughing.

Charlie just shakes his head. “Thanks guys. I appreciate it a lot. Well – you know me, I don’t give up so easily in football,” he grins. “Maybe that works for love too.”

“Have you tried sending him a dick pic?” Luke jokes, chuckling when Diego punches him in the arm. “I tried that, and girls love it.”

“Okay, one, that’s bullshit, _and_ two, it’s a god-awful idea” Diego says back, jovial and joking. “Besides, you literally lie about the size of your dick. Like- no cap, we’ve all seen it.”

Amidst laughter in the background, Charlie just rolls his eyes, letting out a sigh in this rare moment of mental alone time at school. _Yes_. Alex is more than just that “Standall kid”, or that “skinny, sad kid who shot himself in the head and missed.” Alex is so much more than that – and Charlie won’t give up so easily on that. Damn, he might even take up Luke’s offer for shitty date ideas at this rate. Just not the dick pic.

“Maybe I’ll ask him to watch the _Titanic_ again with me?” Charlie suggests, wide-eyed and innocent.

There’s a brief moment of stunned silence in the locker room, followed by a burst of laughter, and Charlie’s not sure if he should feel embarrassed or just laugh along with it. “What? Is there something wrong with that?” He raises an eyebrow, perplexed.

“Dude, really?” Diego scoffs. “The fucking _Titanic_? What are you, like 60?”

“W-what?” Charlie shakes his head, mouth agape. “N-no! I just happen to think it’s super romantic. And if I win his heart over, I _really_ get to be king of the world.”

Diego’s hardly listening, struggling to hold back his laughter because _damn_ , Charlie sounded ancient right there.

“Okay _Jack_ ,” says Luke, before punching him lightly in the arm. “Go get your _Rose_ – I mean, your little Alex.”

Charlie rolls his eyes. “Fuck you guys,” he says, giggling but feeling a little better.


	2. The Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Interview scene in S4E7, with added touches to emphasize Alex's hesitance to date Charlie due to his past and traumas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been 3 weeks - I got caught up in Chalex Week and then uploading NTYIB.
> 
> But I'm back on track here.
> 
> Expect some big changes to the pier scene compared to what's canon! And shameless amounts of Titanic references 
> 
> Special thanks again to syazzypanda for being an amazing beta reader and the rest of the Chalex community for giving me inspiration and being such great friends!

_"Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters the most."_

\- Buddha 

* * *

###  **April 8th 2019**

Alex’s mind was a mess – how could it not be? Between school, college interviews, and trying to figure out where he stands with Charlie, he’s at a loss. There are several things going through his mind, and nothing is quite able to give him peace. Maybe it’s just the way he is. He’s been running from his demons for as long as he could remember. But since coming to Liberty High, it’s taken a new, dangerous peak. Sighing heavily, and running a hand through his hair, he takes this moment to search his past for inspiration, something to give credibility to the surely endless answers to the questions the interviewer is going to ask him.

He doesn’t find any semblance of peace in it either. The first thing that comes to his mind is his TBI, and the long, slow, painful recovery he’s made this past year to try to get back on his feet. Alex shudders at the memories that have only recently come back, fresh in his mind. Although he can walk without a cane now and do most of his physical activities, his left side still experiences the occasional flare-up. And as he found out during the lockdown, a high-stress situation could trigger auditory hallucinations. In other words, as much as Alex hated to admit it – he still feels damaged.

And then came these turbulent past few months of trying to navigate his sexual orientation. If Alex were 100% honest with himself, he’s never felt totally straight. He’s attracted to women, he knows this – whether it was Jessica or Melody or the hundreds of hot girls that pass him in the halls every day. But Alex is realizing that he can no longer deny that he likes boys too. When he and Zach were testing life up on the ledge of the rooftop, in a moment of haze and stupor, he kissed Zach. And although Zach immediately rejected him, albeit in a friendly manner, Alex realized that he enjoyed that kiss – more than he’d been expecting.

Then as time went on, he met Winston, and it took his attraction to boys to a whole new level. Winston was cute, charming, charismatic, and had an amazing fashion sense. Alex was hurt and heartbroken when he found out that Winston had ulterior motives – coming to Liberty to unravel the mystery behind Bryce’s death. Alex didn’t know what to say to him. How could he admit that the true killer Winston was looking for was no other than the boy he was dating? Alexander Standall himself. And so, he broke it off, without letting either of them get the closure they needed.

For the next while, Alex swore to himself that he wouldn’t let himself get hurt this way again. First, it was Jess, then now Winston. Opening his heart up was a train wreck waiting to occur. Alex decided then and there that he’d stop experimenting with whatever he was. It just wasn’t working, and it ended up with heartbreak time and time again.

Until Charlie entered his life. The cute, fun-loving, cookie-loving adorable dork of a quarterback. Charles Hayden Brixton St. George. They had gotten close over the winter break, him, Charlie, and Tyler hanging out together almost every night. Alex knew that once school started that those days would come to an end, or at least slow down a lot. But Charlie still found a way to be part of his life, whether it was giving him emotional support during his nights at the camping trip, helping him with Spanish… or holding his hands during a panic attack.

Alex sighs. He pushed Charlie away, even though he was also the one to kiss Charlie back, passionate and strong right after the lockdown. He wanted Charlie, he really liked Charlie – but he couldn’t bring himself to admit that. Whenever he thinks of Charlie and a potential future for the two of them, it’s Jessica and Winston’s angry faces that make their way into his collective psyche again. He told himself that he couldn’t do this – he wasn’t worthy of Charlie’s love; he couldn’t drag Charlie down this way.

Both of them knew Alex had Bryce’s blood on his hands. And Charlie, being the saint that he was, in a bid to help find justice for Tyler and save Alex’s life, agreed to help incriminate Monty. Charlie, who was Monty’s friend, turned his back on him to do the ‘right’ thing. But that makes him an accomplice at most. It’s nothing compared to the sins that Alex bears. Even now, Alex doesn’t want to imagine a world where his crimes will pull Charlie down with him to hell.

He can’t. He just can’t.

“Alex?” The interviewer’s voice pierces through the clouds of his mind, and Alex is jolted back to reality.

Alex has no answer to this. He doesn’t even know what the interview just asked him. It’s all a blurry haze, and the anxiety’s building again. “I’m sorry, I can’t… I can’t right now,” he says, sweating and trying to steady his breath. “Um.”

The interviewer is looking back at him with a concerned expression, and Alex hates it so much. It feels condescending and derisive. “I don’… I don’t deserve to go to college,” he chokes out, shaking his head in visible anger.

The interviewer looks stunned by this. “Of course, you deserve to go to college,” he says, confident. “Everyone does, no matter their disability,” he finishes, and Alex winces at that.

“My… _What_?” Alex asks, eyes darkening.

His interviewer looks at him with incredulous eyes, mouth slightly agape with apologies ready. “I… I’m sorry Alex – it’s just… we read your file, and it appears you’ve sustained a TBI? And that it continues to affect your daily life—” he says, trying to sound reassuring. “You’ve overcome so much despite your disability.”

_Disability_.

Alex hates that word. It’s horrible – he hates the sound of it. He hates how it makes him feel vulnerable, weakened, _different_. He hates it so much to think of himself like that. He remembers what it was like at first – when he could finally leave the hospital, but barely walk. He needed a cane just to get to the bathroom from his bed. And he would hear whispers in the hall, people referring to him as _disabled_ or worse, _crippled_. He remembers his parents referring him to Dr. Ellman, who encouraged him to embrace what happened as part of him, to reclaim it on the path to recovery.

But Alex thinks that’s bullshit.

While he hates referring to himself as disabled, the opposite, claiming that he was more powerful and empowered by embracing what happened to him feels even more like a lie. Alex doesn’t feel stronger for having survived his suicide attempt. He feels angry, and he hates that all of it is directed towards himself. He’s lost so much; he may have permanently ruined his body. And so, despite what the word ‘recovery’ might suggest, there’s no way Alex can return to ‘before’. There is no going back, and Alex doesn’t feel stronger at all.

He feels damaged.

“Alex?” His interviewer probes again.

And Alex isn’t sure how he responds this time.

***

After what feels like an eternity, Alex finally exits the room, and his claustrophobia subsides with him. Alex doesn’t know whether to be irritated or surprised that Charlie’s waiting for him.

“How’d it go?” Charlie asks, smiling at him gently.

Alex isn’t in the mood to talk. Not after that mess of an interview and trying to figure out the rest of his life. “What are you even doing here?” He demands.

Charlie’s been keeping tabs on him, much to his chagrin. Charlie texted him earlier today, letting Alex know he’d be there for his interview. Alex didn’t respond – in part because he really just wanted to be alone – and another because he didn’t want to fall for Charlie.

But clearly, Charlie found out nonetheless.

“I wanted to see how it went,” Charlie says back, and Alex rolls his eyes when Charlie follows his steps towards the school’s exit.

At this point, Alex is losing his patience. “Oh my God, you’re like a fucking golden retriever,” Alex snaps. When Charlie doesn’t budge, he adds “Don’t you give up?!” Raising a hand to distance Charlie from him. 

“No, I’m like, uh… Russel Wilson,” Charlie says back, and Alex can only wish he was gone, so he could be alone in his thoughts. He’s not in the mood for Charlie’s puns and references. “Never giving up on a play, always scrambling,” he says fidgeting his arms to recreate some vague sports scene which Alex barely registers.

Alex just glares at him, mind heavy with self-loathing.

“So, how’d it go?” Charlie tries again, and this time Alex puts up a hand in protest. Charlie stops talking.

“It sucked because I’m extremely fucked up,” he says, spitting out the words, cold and embittered. “And if you weren’t an idiot, you’d stay away.”

He almost regrets the words the moment they come out. Charlie stops moving with him, and when Alex turns around slightly to peek at Charlie through the periphery of his vision, he has to bite down on his lip to prevent himself from apologizing. Charlie looks visibly hurt and stunned by what Alex said.

“Alex… you’re not… fucked up at all,” Charlie whispers, shaking his head.

But Alex doesn’t stop walking away. It takes all his willpower to keep going, to drag his feet, to yell at himself _‘don’t turn around, keep walking, forget about him_ ’. But he does it. And if Charlie does call out his name, emotional, raw, and stinging, Alex swears to himself it’s just his imagination.

And that he’ll walk his path alone like he’s meant to.

* * *

The next few days pass by too slowly, and Alex soon finds himself sitting at Monet’s. It’s their usual hangout location – him, Charlie, and Tyler, when they have time together, which honestly isn’t much now. When Tyler suggested that they meet up, Alex reluctantly agreed – it’s nice to hang out with Tyler – but he’s not nearly as thrilled about the prospect of seeing Charlie.

He’s not mad at Charlie. He could _never_ be mad at Charlie like this. No. He’s mad at his fucking self. He’s mad he allowed himself to fall for Charlie like this, to kiss him back when Charlie kissed him after that goddamn shooter drill. He’s mad that despite his best efforts to push Charlie away and keep him at arm’s length, that he’s all but failed again. And _fuck_ , if he has to break Charlie’s heart to keep Charlie safe and keep himself sane, he’ll do it.

Even if it eats at his soul.

Tyler’s phone beeps and Alex quirks an eyebrow, absent-mindedly stirring the spoon in his latte that he doesn’t feel like drinking. “What’s up?” He says.

“Charlie just said something came up,” Tyler says, glancing over at Alex. “He can’t make it.”

Alex hates that he feels _relieved_ about this. “Oh,” he says, trying to sound neutral. It’s much harder than he expects, because when he talks, a rush of relief and utter disappointment fire through him, simultaneous and unbridled. “I see, that’s unfortunate.”

“What happened between you two anyway?” Tyler suddenly inquires, his eyes darkening when Alex looks over at him with incredulous eyes. “Charlie didn’t show up to the last hangout either and he’s just… been more distant.”

And at this point, Alex doesn’t know how to answer Tyler. He knows Tyler knows about their kiss after the lockdown – everyone knows about it. Tyler had even winked at him, patted him on the back and encouraged him to go for it. Alex just rolled his eyes at the time – he didn’t expect it to blow up in his face like everything else.

“What do you mean?” Alex asks, trying to sound covert which he knows was a miserable failure. Tyler’s learned to be perceptive and read people. Both of them – when you spend so much time shielding yourself from bullies, you learn to pick up on little signs.

“Look, Alex, I don’t know much but,” Tyler begins, his blue eyes firmly on Alex’s. “I know Charlie’s a great guy. He took care of me and went down to the station with me even when he barely knew who I was,” Tyler says, and Alex winces at the unpleasant reminder of that blasted murder investigation, months ago.

“It was just doing the right thing,” Alex mutters sourly.

“He didn’t have to help me,” Tyler reaffirms, two hands cupping his half-finished cappuccino. “He was friends with Monty. He didn’t have to get tangled in our lives and our shit like that.” Tyler adds. “But he chose to anyways and leave what he had before behind,” Tyler finishes, solemn.

Alex lets out a shaky sigh. He knows Tyler is right.

“Yeah…” Alex mutters, softly. “I guess so, yeah.”

That was an awful response and Tyler just looks at him with an incredulous look on his face. “Look, Alex—” he starts, finding his voice. “I don’t know what happened between you two – but I can guess it’s about that kiss,” he says matter-of-factly.

Alex glares back at him.

“Alex, you know everyone knows about that kiss,” Tyler says, holding up a hand defensively when Alex’s expression turns darker. “I thought… I thought you liked him, too,” Tyler finally says, smiling weakly when his eyes meet Alex’s.

Alex holds back a sniffle and rubs a hand against his face at the remark. Tyler is right. He _does_ like Charlie. It was clearly obvious to Tyler, who spent so much of his time with the two of them. Alex hoped that he could hide it better – for his own sake – so that he could just forget about it without anyone interfering. But if there’s one thing Alex has learned; it’s that fate fucking hates him.

“Just—” Tyler starts again, raising both hands for emphasis. “Just promise me you’ll at least talk to him,” he says. “He’s a great guy and a great friend,” Tyler nods.

And Alex sighs heavily, before peering around for any stray eyes or ears. And finally, he comes clean. “I just… I can’t do this,” he admits. “I can’t date someone like Charlie,” he shakes his head.

Tyler looks dumbfounded by that. “What? Alex… it’s not because he’s a jock… or something, right?” He asks, shaking his head. “You know not all jocks are like that.”

“What?” Alex quirks an eyebrow. “N…no! Of course not. I mean before I liked… I mean before I _knew_ Charlie,” he says, clearing his throat. “I had a thing for… well, another jock.” Although he doesn't say it out loud, he's sure Tyler realizes he's talking about Zach. 

Tyler doesn’t press that, but stares at him perplexed, nonetheless. “Alex. Charlie’s the quarterback, he’s nice, he’s sweet – you’d be out of your mind to not want him.”

“And that’s why I can’t date him, Ty,” Alex sighs shaking his head and burying his head in his hands. “I’m damaged, I have a fucking brain injury,” he hisses. “And I’m…” he whispers, clamping down in discomfort “a murderer too,” he finishes.

Yet Tyler’s eyes hold no judgement, no shame. It’s all understanding. “You think Charlie doesn’t know that already?” He asks, matter-of-factly. “And he still sees you for the real you.”

Alex lets out a sigh. “Yeah, but what is the _real_ me, Ty?” He demands.

But Tyler doesn’t budge. His eyes are warm but stand firm. “You’re a good person, Alex,” he finishes. “You helped me and defended me from bullies when no one else would.”

And Alex relents at that. “I… I guess,” Alex sighs. “Look, Ty, I’m just… I’m trying to outrun my past. The dark parts of my past. And I can’t drag him along with me,” he admits, running a hand through his locks. “I go down, and so does he. So do all of us,” he finishes, shaking his head in anger.

“So, let us help you, Alex,” Tyler says, a little more assertive. “We’re your friends, aren’t we?” He adds. “Let us bear that burden we’re all guilty of – together,” Tyler shakes his head. “You know – all of us agreed to the plan because we care about you. You know that, don’t you? You deserve that.”

And somewhere at the back of his mind, Alex recalls those same words his dad spoke to him after he almost drowned on the senior camping trip. The same night in some drunken moment after stealing Zach’s liquor that he cried in Charlie’s arms about Winston breaking his heart. Alex lets out a sharp breath but relents. Tyler’s right. They stick together for one another. Whether he likes to admit or not. “Yeah… you’re right, I guess,” Alex relents, softly.

“Great, so—” Tyler says again, putting down both palms on the table. “Alex – Will you reconsider dating Charlie? Or at least – will you reach out to him?”

And if Alex thought he had a quick yes or no answer to this question, he would be lying to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... If you liked it please let me know? I thrive on reviews!
> 
> If you'd like to join the Chalex Discord Server for real-time discussions and be part of our community, our server is:  
> https://discord.gg/FcwU5ER

**Author's Note:**

> So - let me know how I did! I appreciate reviews and kudos a lot, and I take requests for one-shots and stories, so let me know if you'd like to see anything else!
> 
> Also, if you're a fan of Chalex and have a discord account, please consider joining the Chalex server - we discuss the series, fanfiction, fanart, and cool concepts (and basically anything else)!
> 
> https://discord.gg/6EPXNRb


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